Kissed
by Rianyn Suki
Summary: Lupin's secrets tend to bother everyone but himself.


Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter, nor any character therein. I also don't own the sentence I took from ' What would Happen' by Meredith Brooks. Spoilers for OOTP. 

~ Kissed ~

'What would happen if we kissed...?' 

- Meredith Brooks

****

"Hermione ...?"

She nearly choked on a tearful hiccup that rose in her throat.

"What are you doing out here?"

His voice radiated warmth and concern. 

An answer formed in her mind. 

__

I'm hiding. 

She took a gulp of icy air into her lungs. 

__

Just calm down, Hermione. Get a hold of yourself.

"You'll catch your death out here, 'Mione. Why don't you come back inside, eh? Some nice hot tea should warm you up...c'mon now ..." he coaxed gently, and though it filled Hermione with comfort it also increased the pressure on her chest. 

Tears slipped freely from her eyes, ice cold against her skin as the winter wind whipped at her face. 

"Prof- Lupin .. that is, Remus .. " She found herself stumbling over his name, glad that her back was to him. At least he couldn't see her childish tears. Her dignity simply wouldn't allow that.

Remus felt a ripple of shyness creep past his pleasant demeanor, causing him to stutter as well. 

"Y-yes?"

Her shoulders shook slightly, and before he could stop himself he'd placed his hands over them. Her muscles tensed immediately, but she didn't protest. Instead, she heaved a great sigh.

Unsure what to do next, Remus simply held her shoulders firmly. 

"Why didn't you say anything sooner? About your ..."

Hermione's voice was soft. But her words hammered into his brain, leaving him both rattled and anxious. He had been dreading this. But he heard a strained sniff and suddenly the world crashed to an abrupt halt. 

"_Hermione_ .. !" He said, shocked.

Turning her to him, he leaned closer to try and get a good look at her face. Hermione didn't make it easy- she tilted her head away from him, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Why are you crying?" 

He sounded so tender. It reminded Hermione of the way he'd comforted Mrs. Weasley, after her traumatic encounter with a boggart six years ago. Those same kind hands which had soothed a frantic Mrs. Weasley were now working that same magic on her. She felt the tension melt from her limbs, and her body swayed slightly between those warm, mild hands.

Hermione bit back a sob. 

"Why didn't you tell me ...a-about your c-condition?" 

Remus stiffened. His gaze was frozen on her lips. He should have known she'd figure it out. It had been a fool's errand trying to hide it from her. A mixture of pride and despair washed over him. He hadn't wanted to tell her this way. He cleared his throat softly, his voice hoarse.

"I didn't think it was important." 

Her wet, glossy hazel eyes clashed with his.

"How can you say that!" she whispered incredulously, her hair sticking to the trails of tears which marred her pink cheeks.

He could feel the heat rising in her. Her eyes lit with a green fire, and instead of putting one of the many logical reasons he'd worked out to use, he found himself speaking the truth.

"In the grand spectrum, I'm not much of an asset. In fact, I'll be one less unpredictability you'll have to deal with-"

"Is that what you think?" Hermione demanded coolly. 

"I do." 

"Really?" Her gaze was formidable. Remus didn't waver.

"Yes."

"Name one reason why I shouldn't kiss you this very minute." 

He hadn't expected that. His heart skipped painfully in his chest. _Had she just said .. ?_

"Why you shouldn't ..." He murmured, completely befuddled. 

"_Kiss_ you." She clarified, her eyes dry yet filled with another kind of sorrow. Her cheeks were rosey with cold, and as she tilted her head closer he felt panic grip his body. 

"W-what are you doing??" 

"Being unpredictable."

Before he could formulate a further inquiry, her warm breath fanned across his lips. 

"You should have told us. You should have confided in me, Remus..."

Her eyes dipped to his mouth. 

She was much too close for his brain to function properly. He opened his mouth and found he could only speak the truth as it rose up from the deepest part of his heart. 

"It's too late, Hermione .. " 

Her eyes locked with his again. 

Had he truly said her name in that lustful, intimate manner?

His hands gripped her shoulders like a vice. 

Never in his life had he felt so uncontrolled. Except when the change took him. And he tried his best not to remember that. 

His breaths were heavy, and came out in solid clouds of silver air. Her own clouds mingled with his, then dissipated. 

"Give me a reason, please..." she whispered. He could see the tears brewing within her eyes as she pleaded with him silently. The scent of her was soft and subtle, and he found that the more it eluded him the more he felt compelled to bury himself within her.

"In the grand ...spectrum ... I'm not worth such gift."

One of his hands found her cheek. He brushed the wet strands from her skin with the barest of touches. He didn't expect her reaction to drain him of all coherent thought. Eyes closed, her reply came out more as a sigh than an admonishment.

"Rubbish. Name another." 

His fingers drew back from her warm skin, and he forced both hands to drop to his sides. 

"You'll regret it."

"No-"

"I'll regret it."

Her eyes flew open. It nearly broke his heart to see the hurt surface in them, but he held steadfast. 

Her lips parted slightly, but no sound came. Remus clenched his jaw tightly. She took a step back, dropping her gaze from his. He could see the red hot embarrassment rise in her cheeks. 

"I'm not giving up just yet." She said so quietly that Remus barely heard her.

"I will find a cure. And you'll just have to accept it. Your not going anywhere. Not when Harry needs you most. I won't let you..." she said hoarsely, but with iron determination. She backed away from him, as if afraid her presence might cause him to bolt like a wild animal.

"Hermione ..." Remus began, reaching out for her. 

But she had already disappeared.

A/N: Forgive me!!! I honestly dunno where that came from. O_o; I had wanted to write something humorous, but it didn't come out that way. ^^;; Gah! I had Hermione cry!! And they didn't kiss. Next time, it'll be Lupin crying. Time for the male to get weepy and ...but I don't want anyone to cry. Yes. Happy, happy people!! o_o;; Forgiveness again. It's late and I'm a bit off my nutter. o_O;;;; 

The spoiler I meant was the 'Lupin comforts Mrs. Weasley' thing. Maybe it doesn't really count, but I just wanted to be safe. ^^

I haven't read the entire book, (I'm still very upset about the ending) but I must have re-read that part ... a lot. I thought it was so touching and portrayed Lupin with so much quiet kindness. Thanks for reading!! ^_^


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